


Torturous Love

by Toyu



Series: The Tested Love of Time [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Centipede Kaneki Ken, Character Analysis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kuroneki | Black-haired Kaneki, Mental Instability, Multi, Other, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3775384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toyu/pseuds/Toyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki Ken already thought he was majorly messed up with the centipedes and the removal of his fingers and toes.</p>
<p>He was wrong, so very psychotically wrong...<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Character Profiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit on Kuro, Shiro, and Centipede in terms of apperance, personality wise so far, and a bit of background research I discovered while rereading Tokyo Ghoul and discovering that his Kakuja mask changes in the manga within each chapter, or at least seems to from the panels I studied.

Kuro/Eyepatch: represent Kaneki’s humanity and childhood. Appears as Child Kaneki and pre-torture Kaneki, both can wear the ghoul’s mask he uses, but have his human eyes in both eyes. Older version of self can use Rize’s four Rinkaku, but prefers not to use it. When using it, his facial appearance is the same as Kaneki’s with only one ghoul eye. Will wear mostly the same clothing in both his younger form and older form, although the sweater might turn into a black version of the green/turquoise sweat-jacket (that is what he wears in the anime right?) that Kankei wore in the past. Clothing when switching will materialize on his body and replace the existing clothing in the same way that the mask materializes and vanishes on his face.

Shiro/Bookworm: Is cold and calculative, enjoys reading books, has white hair and normal grey eyes like Kaneki does, can use a four-tentacled/pronged Rikkaku Kagune if Centipede is not masked (I don’t want to use the word tentacled so would pronged work as well…?). When his Kagune is activated both his eyes have red pupils, but the scapula remains the same white color as when the kagune is not activated. Can often tell jokes but claims that he rarely does so. Is either more athletic than the other’s when fight or just enjoys taking up the author’s headspace during fight scenes. Wears the clothing mentioned in the previous chapter and chapter three, where he and Kuro first appeared.

Kenki/Centipede: Appears like Kaneki in Centipede form when unmasked, his face and appearance is the same as Shiro’s. (other than the permanent outer-rib cage of centipede legs that is attached to a collar in his neck and around his lower torso. Might add latter?) When his eight-pronged Kagune comes out (combination of Kuro and Shiro’s in numbers), two of the upper limbs of the rinkaku go over his back and each shoulder and reach under his ear and over his forehead to form his half? mask, which covers his nose but extends to cover the middle of his mouth. Two of the other six wrap around his lower torso like a turtleneck, forming the bottom of his black centipede form from the mist. Remaining four can be used as he wants. Clothing is a grey full-body, skin-tight suit. Personality is a bit over-emotional and crazy, but very caring and defensive of his ‘family’. Represents Kaneki’s human view of ghouls. Has permanent ghoul eyes in both eyelids.

chapter 101 page 6 Mask covers most of his face and seems to circle around his eyes?, other than lower left side on the panel (Kaneki’s right). Both eyes are visible, but Kaneki’s right eye is white with no iris, the other visible eye is his ghoul’s eye.

Chapter 103 page 15 shows that around Kaneki’s right eye (his left, viewer’s right) the mask has line indents going outward towards the side, and that the mask extends past his nose and touches his upper lip. Next page shows that there is a small curve of the mask that extends under Kaneki’s other eye, and that most of his face underneath and around said eye is uncovered.

Chapter 105 page 4 Mask gained a ghoul’s eye in the center, and the curve is missing from underneath Kaneki’s white eye, and that there is now a happy grin extending on the mask from where his mouth is.

Chapter 106 page 11 Kakuja mask is the same as in chapter seven, but without the middle eye…ah wait it was hidden in shadows and covered by his hair.

Chapter 107 page 9 kakuja mask is now only on his forehead, extending downwards over the nose. Still has the middle eye, but does not seem to be connected to anything… through the hair maybe?


	2. What was Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My break is done, so I went ahead and posted the sixth chapter of the fic. Enjoy!  
> Comments = motivation, which equals a faster release of the chapters I have stuffed in my head.

Nico noticed that something was wrong with Yamori, something different. Maybe it was the fact that he had a new toy to play with, or that this same toy smelled like that ghoul who held Yamori's undivided attention, Rize. It did not matter much to Nico what Yamori did to the half-ghoul kid, as long as Yamori was happy, so was Nico.

Around two days after the centipede was introduced to the tunnels of Kaneki's ears, Yamori sees it, a brief yet detailed flash of his Rize smirking up at him from the chair where the weak greying-haired brat was tied. Yamori's mouth goes dry, his pulse speeds up and there is a roar in his ears that has the ghoul grinning from ear to ear. "Rize, so you Are inside of him." Yamori purrs, like a cat that has caught a bird that's flow from its cage for the first time and forgot how to fly. He leaves Kaneki toeless and without half of his fingers on one of his hands this time.

Kaneki laughs, he laughs to the rhythm of the centipede's many legs drumming out inside his head, he laughs to suppress and revile in the pain that is coursing through his mind and broken body. Slowly the sound of laughter pierced with screams of insanity mixed with agony fades away like clouds before the wind on a moonlit night. The noise still exists, but at a much lower volume as Kaneki feels a hand caress his cheek and the blindfold is removed. The action done by the smiling, should-be-dead ghoul in front of Kaneki reveals a checkered floor, a white endless space for the ceiling plus metaphorical walls, and a distinct lack of the overwhelming stench of blood. The half-ghoul stares in silent shock at what must be a apparition of Rize as she speaks.

"Your hair's gone all white." Kaneki is dimly aware of something squirming up and down his back underneath his skin as the next word falls like a snowflake from her blood-red lips. "Answer."

"Rize... you... were alive..." She tilts her head at him in the manner that a kid would at a interesting bug or a adult telling jokes that said kid does not understand.

"Of course I am, silly Kaneki. I live on inside of you."

The two of them, both prisoners within Kaneki's mind, talk about and revisit much of Kaneki's life through his memories. Rize faintly smiles at him as she says "You must have been lonely, Kaneki."

The white-haired ghoul pauses before stating what Rize already knew, but wanted to hear all the same.

"I was."

A sound similar to the crackle of fire or a downpour of rain hitting concrete and wood slowly emerges from the soft background noise as Rize replies, her voice becoming distorted with each pause.

"But you... might lose... those precious friends," her voice takes on a husky, deeper, masculine tone, one that Kaneki startling recognizes as his own.

"And. It'll Be. Your _fault_."

Just as quickly as it had increased, the sound of centipede feet decreases in volume as familiar metal walls appear around the two. Rize smiles faintly at the tied-up half-ghoul before speaking in her normal voice.

"It seems the 'master' has returned. Do you want me to handle him for you?"

Kaneki mummers a small "No. It's _my_ body and _my_ mind he is messing with, Rize. If I allow you to fix _my_ problem for me, I will never gain the strength to protect _my_ precious people."

A faint gleam of amusement or something more sinister echoes in Rize's eyes as she turns away from Kaneki and begins to walk away. Before vanishing without a trace, Rize gives Kaneki a warning laced in a invitation into the darkness of his mind.

"When you are ready to change _your_ mind, call into the abyss for me. I'll be waiting to see you latter, Kaneki."

The squirming feeling intensifies and Kaneki gasps in pain as the checkered floor shakes and cracks without sound accompanying the destructive action, then his world goes black.

Nico smiles as he watches Yamori approach the boy and speak, knowing that soon his reward would be granted, for Yamori would be happy with his new toy. "These past few days have been more than enough to realize that your body... and mind are unexpectedly tough, Rize, Kaneki. And so, I tried to come up with something different." and then with a burst of steam, Yamori activates his Kakuja.


	3. A Love of Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki awakens with Yamori trying a new torture technique on him.  
> 

Kaneki awakens to a wave of burning physical heat, as if he were being lowered face down onto a burning grill. There was certainly enough steam and heat for that to be what was occurring, however the sensation of pain between his legs and something gripping his white hair screams otherwise. The unrecognizable, eyeless, monster wearing a mask of Kagune wrapped over its head down to the nose throws back said head from a blood-filled kiss and roars in a voice that Kaneki immediately recognizes that fills him with dread and horror.

"Jay...son..." Kaneki chokes out as the metallic yet sweet taste of warm blood floods his mouth as it flows down the back of his throat.

"Where... Where is she...? Where is _MY_ Rize, Kaneki?!" Jason loudly mummers as he reaches into the metallic bucket at Kaneki's feet with the normal human-shaped hand that was not harshly gripping Kaneki's head, and removes a handful of what was inside.

 The monster then shoves the hand towards his mouth in the same manner a kid would when eating a handful of small candies. The crunch of finger bones and the nails of toes could be heard as Jason shifts his lower body while calmly chewing with a grin on what was visible of his face. Kaneki's tormentor swallows the bits of Kaneki he had eaten, grabs Kaneki's left hand with the same bloodstained hand and lifts it to his mouth, the prisoner's trembling digits splayed apart like a frightened cat's tail. Kaneki is already screaming for the ghoul to stop just before Jason bits down through the fingers with a loud satisfying crunch that soundly echoes of a human biting into half-burnt, grilled-too-crispy chicken.

Jason's lips then descend and move against Kaneki's own as both prisoner and tormentor beg and moan for the same dead person to appear.

"Rize... Please..."

 The squirming feeling in his back where his Kagune would emerge Kaneki had almost forgotten about in his state of shock, but he was reminded of it when the feeling briefly stalls and slowly starts up once more. The sound of a soft breath of air and the faint sensation of ghostly arms wrapping around Kaneki's shoulders from behind are the only signs that the ghostly hallucination had heard his plea. As Jason pulls his lips back from Kaneki's and glares at the pathetic boy the monster's hand descends to Kaneki's neck which one of Jason's Kagune wraps around and harshly squeezes. As Kaneki chokes while spots fill his vision; the apparition's arms fade away and the squirming feeling akin to an army of centipedes crawling up and down under the skin in Kaneki's back fully ceases.

"Hello again, Jason."

Kaneki faintly feels his lips trace the words he hears being spoken in Rize's voice and the grip on his throat vanishes. The half-ghoul plunges towards darkness and away from the pain filled horror of reality once more.


	4. The Masks of Love and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki meets his other selves in his mind as Rize messes with Yamori on the outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that more than 1500 people have viewed this fic when it was nothing more than two lines dumped and abandoned, but now have grown into a story of its own. So please, LEAVE A COMMENT!

Kaneki falls from a checkered sky towards the ground, from which white lily flowers grew for as far as he could see. His gaze moves from the horizon to the area of ground that is directly underneath him so far below. There are three things Kaneki’s eyes register before he closes them and braces for a shoulders first impact. A sandbox in which a small dark figure is building a mound in the center of, a two-seat swing set that is set up among the flowers just outside of the sandbox,  and a white haired humanoid who is sitting in the right seat in proportion to the sandbox.

It was with a muffled splat in darkness accompanied by the smell and taste of sand that Kaneki lands, head first into the sand mound. Kaneki can feel his legs fall backwards and land knee first against the sand, where something grabs his right leg. A muffled yelp escapes his mouth as he kicks at whatever grabbed him, eliciting a clear, unmuffled yelp from the grabber in kind. The white haired prisoner pauses in his flailing of legs and shifting of the rest of his body to escape the mound as he ponders at exactly how stuck he was so close to the surface to be able to hear someone or anything above ground.  Kaneki feels something again grasp his left leg near the knee, while the previous feeling of his right leg being grasped at the ankle once again returns. Hands are what grabbed him, the half-ghoul realizes as he feels his legs being pulled away from his slowly-following body.

With a echoing pop, Kaneki’s head is finally free of being buried in the sand like a confused, wingless bird with no place to hide. As he begins to shake his white head of hair free of sand, he heard a small eep come from the space directly in front of him. A male voice that sounded cold yet caring comes from behind him, most likely the speaker being the person who pulled him out of the sand.

“Well, what a splat-tastic mess you have made of yourself.”

Kaneki ignores the self-made pun as he rubs his eyes once to remove the gritty sand, and rubs them again to remove the sight that meets his now-opened eyes. The child with Kaneki’s face gives him a fearful look before scurrying towards the area of the sandbox behind Kaneki while the sand-covered half-ghoul speaks in confusion as he turns around to see a more shocking sight.

“You’re… both of you are…”

The white-haired teen with Kaneki’s face glowers at him with grey-eyes as the young, black-haired copy of a younger Kaneki peers at Kaneki from behind the legs of the teen. The teen was wearing white, frayed bottoms like Kaneki was, except that his extended to the ankles and not the knees. A white long-sleeved shirt with a single breast pocket on the right side was what he wore for a top, whereas the younger copy wore a black sweater and black shorts with pockets. The younger Kaneki steps away from the teen, who releases a small, almost pained huff as his empty eyes shift from Kaneki to the nervously speaking smaller one.

“You really are a, a mess… in appearance… and… up here.” the younger Kaneki states in Kaneki’s child-hood voice as his hand touches his chin with his index finger pointed at his own forehead. The white-clothed version of himself briefly nods his head towards the other one, who runs behind him towards the swing set, and climbs into the left seat. The white-haired Kaneki raises a pair of pain-filled eyes to Kaneki’s own before speaking in a calm manner, as if Kaneki was once again watching himself on that stage in his mind, playing a part that was not his own. The steady creaking of the swing-set as the child version of Kaneki went back and forth with a sad smile on his face punctures each space between the words like a harpoon.

“You’re about to fall towards a new darkness, like a… timbered tree, ki ki.”

Before Kaneki could even understand the pun, the remains of the sand mound below him fall to reveal a gaping hole that led to nothing but darkness all around the sand-covered half-ghoul as he literally falls.


	5. His Personal Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki faces his personal darkness and falls down a new path.

To say the hole led to nothing would be a lie, for it did lead to something in the confines of Kaneki’s mind. It led to the steadily increasing skitter sound of centipede feet and a faint whisper of voices the words unknown, to reaching hands and jeering faces looming at the falling half-ghoul from the darkness. Emotionless faces that had the red-black eyes of ghouls and unblinking human eyes stare at him from the shadows that concealed their bodies with arms extended towards him, almost touching his body as he passed.

 Many of the faces Kaneki recognizes from reality, Hide, Touka, Yomo, the nameless-investigator he had fought, Rize, Hinami, her mother, Nico, Bajou, a few of the lecturers from his classes, and a bit more of the steady-going café patrons. He feels a now-familiar pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, along with strands of glowing purple hair blowing past his face. “Rize…” Kaneki breaths as warmth envelops him from the shoulders outward.

“Kaneki, you cannot save or protect any of them. Because how can you, when you yourself need protecting the most…” Rize mummers as one of her hands come up and slowly caress Kaneki’s cheek.

“Rize, what do you mean?” Kaneki asks, his mind ever so slowly click, click, clicking the pieces of his puzzled brain together to the beat of the centipede feet he could hear slowly increasing in volume.

“You said it yourself. ‘Rather than a person who hurts others, –“

“…become the person getting hurt.’ I know that Rize...” Kaneki sighs as the pair continue to fall into the inky gloom. Kaneki inhales and continues to speak.

“It’s only natural, that I’m the one hurt… by being the target, by absorbing what would become their pain as my own, I’m protecting them.” The pair fall by Ryouko and Hinami, who upon enter the darkness above, are the only ones to reappear below the falling pair to continue the emotionless repeat of faces. 

“But you failed to protect them…” Rize purrs as she moves around to the front of Kaneki, her hands cupping his cheeks as she floats above him.

An image of Ryouko’s smiling face as her body is sliced apart appears, her last words dying on her lips along with her. The memory plays out a few more time before fading into the dark background.

“Rize, I was weak then. Even before I became a half-ghoul, I was weak as a human.” Kaneki replies with an indifferent frown at the transparent ghoul, who moves once more to be behind him.

“Why…?” she hisses softly into his ear, her breath tickling the skin as the sound of whispers ceases at the moment she inhales to still speak. “Because you are a coward, who cannot even protect himself or others…when you’re needed the most…”

Kaneki blinks once before inhaling deeply at the moving sound of centipede feet, which increases along with his fear and pounding heartbeat. He sees them out of the corner of his eyes, a multitude of human-sized kagune-red centipede feet, crawling downwards past him into the hidden recesses of the shrouding darkness. The half-ghoul sees a faint outline of the monster’s large body in the increasing amounts of grey luminous light that surrounds him. The sound of voices increase in volume as Kaneki watches the familiar faces with reaching hands approach him from below, all clumped together in a large pile of wriggling bodies. Rize releases a soft laugh before she drags Kaneki into the top of the pile, the feeling of cold air swiftly replaced by the warm heat produced by the mountain of moving flesh.

Kaneki feels nothing but heated air surrounding him as a pocket of space is created before Rize’s glowing face suddenly appearing in front of his own. The image solidifies and Kaneki feels her skin against his back where her hands are clasped together with her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Is it better to eat, or to be eaten, hm?” she whispers before her kagune explodes from her back to arch over him, the tail of a scorpion poised to strike its prey. Like a signal going off, the other bodies swarm towards the pair, the once-whispering volume exploding with the single repeated word that their lips spoke.

“Cowardly Needs!” Touka snarls as her hands grab one of his kicking legs, her kakunan flashing like the missing centipede legs from before.

“Needy Friendships.” Hide states as his nails dig into Kaneki’s shoulder as he reaches around Rize, eyes that should be warm now held only the harsh dead of a emotionless winter.

“Cowardly Needs.” Hinami repeats, as her arms wrap around his quivering foot underneath Touka.

“False Needs.” Growls the nameless investigator as the apparition presses the flat of his hands against both sides of Kaneki’s waist.

“Coward, coward, Coward. Needy, Coward. Neeed!” hiss Koma, Irimi, and everyone else as their hands grasp Kaneki and each other, dragging him down with Rize coyly smiling on at Kaneki’s terrified expression.

The centipede circles slowly in shadows far below them as while the clinging hands let go of him one by one, then their owners form a standing circle around him and Rize as they land inside its circle. The ghoul smirks as she steps back from Kaneki, her finger tips trailing from his neck to the tip of his chin before parting to join the hidden beings now clad in the smoky shadows of darkness surrounding him. A half-familiar voice repeatedly screams “You NEED This!” from behind Kaneki, the smoke solidifying into a familiar setting that Kaneki recognizes immediately. Slowly the half-ghoul turns around in the memory of his childhood home, to see a familiar reoccurrence that he had purposely forgotten about, so long ago in a different life.

He watches in disbelief as his mother’s kind hand swiftly comes down in a slap against the side of his younger-self’s head. “Need this, Need Money! Need FOOD, WE NEED TO **HURT**!” she agonizingly cries, as her hand goes up, down, up down, smack, smack, bash, smack, bash, thud, smack, thud. Pain erupts all across Kaneki’s own body as the blows continue to rain down on his younger self at the same moment that his younger-self softly speaks in a broken voice. Kaneki chokes and falls on his knees the feeling like Rize was attacking him again, the harsh, icy-burning sensation screaming across his skin in protest. The layers of pain the half-ghoul’s experience flare with each word that drops from his mimics bleeding lips.

“Mommy, I’m sorry. I… I don’t need… I don’t need anything, so…” The real-Kaneki screams when his body shudders in more blossoming pain from the increase of blows upon his younger counterpart’s body.

“To hurt… is to love, sister… loves me…” his mother softly whispers as the blows slowdown in their intense rain. “So she comes to me and hurts me… Hurts to live, to work… do you feel life work for you… love?” his mother whispers softly, something that Kaneki was unsure of being produced by his own madness, or her own cruel truth applied in his childhood memories. The black-haired Kaneki blubbers on as his hand touches his mother’s knee with a crazed smile on his wet, snot-covered face.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I don’t need it anymore. I’m sorry… Don’t beat me… I won’t ask for anything. I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…-“

Kaneki is dimly aware of the last words being repeated around him from the shadows as he crawls forward towards his human self, each movement sending a spike of pain from all over his body into his brain. On hands and knees the half-ghoul crouches over himself, the pitiful sight in his mismatched eyes blurring as the half ghoul braces himself for the expected blows.

“I’ll protect you… Because… If I can’t save my-myself…how can I protect everyone…” Kaneki sobs, as the blows rain down on his own back instead of the shivering, sobbing black haired human child underneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to say, re-reading tokyo ghoul and tokyo ghoul RE: was not as torturous as typing up this pain-train. I regret everything, now enjoy the mess of pain I have made.


	6. The Need to Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Centipede-kun finally makes a appearance, and Kaneki goes through a little bit more pain...

The room is silent other than the repetitive slaps and whimpers of “I’m sorry…” from underneath the white-haired half-ghoul, whose body was slowly growing numb from the barely felt pain. At least the centipede is gone, Kaneki notes, as he stares at the unmoving circular wall of black mist. Black streams of mist shoot forward towards him, reducing most of his vision to the moving shadow of his mother, and the silent, unmoving body underneath him. The mist slowly swirls around him, and Kaneki waits as the feeling of trepidation grows in his chest. A sharp pain blossoms from his chest, sides, and limbs, causing his body to once more shudder in unexpected pain and surprise. The mist swirls in an outward manner, revealing over-sized, blood-covered centipede legs extending from within the mist that had done the damage.

“To hurt is to love. To love, being hurt is best. Best to hurt, best to love, best to hurt, best to love. Best to feel pain, feel love, than let others feel it. Steal the hurt, steal the love.” The legs are retracted from his body as the people Kaneki once knew step from the shadows, the insect-legs twitching where arms and hands should be. The blows from his mother cease, causing Kaneki to look at her out of the corner of his eyes to see why she had stopped.

Kaneki stares, silently horrified as his mother’s eyes sink into their sockets, leaving gaping holes full of blood that saw nothing of the pain that she had inflicted on him. Her head lowers itself past his own into a crouched bow even as her large hands, - had they ever been smaller in reality? – resting on the floor in front of her become wrinkled and shriveled. The hair swiftly grows and becomes wispy, the white growing roots appearing silver against the ageing grey mixed with the original black ends that now trailed against the floor. Then the sliver separates from the white, falling to the floor like strands of smoke or mist.

The familiar laughing faces and bodies that surround the trio suddenly vaporize into more of the black mist, the sound of the un-vaporized centipede legs moving under the cover of the black mist replacing the harsh laughter. Kaneki waits, the sound of a single sniffle from the boy underneath him making him look down and is shocked to see his ghoul mask on his younger-counterpart’s face. When his gaze returns to his surroundings and disfigured mother, the mist and room are gone. Both have been replaced by a familiar giant centipede’s moving body against a white background, the kagune like legs flashing with each movement. Kaneki’s head turns sharply as a low hiss comes from his mother, vapors of the mist curling upwards from her exposed body and clothing. Suddenly four pairs of glowing centipede legs emerge from the sides of her torso, wiggling like lily flower petals before a gentle breeze. His mother’s wrinkled face is split open from the inside by a black sharp-hooked beak at the nose, but there is no blood, as if it had been drained by the hissing white-haired monster that emerged from her crumbling paper body.

The mist swirls in vapors around the white haired being that had stepped from his mother’s corpse, which was disintegrating into yet blacker vapor. Kaneki studied the appearance of the person in front of him. Much of the person’s face was covered with the beak mask from before, which extended from his forehead over his nose towards a tapered end, barley touching the top of the human lips Kaneki could see underneath. The four glowing centipede legs emerging from the white-haired person’s back break apart into a mist that Kaneki recognizes as the mist of a kagune. The closed eyes that were visible slowly open, revealing to be the red-pupil-on-black-scapula eyes of a ghoul. As far as clothing, the ghoul only wore a grey skin tight body suit, and…Kaneki recognized with startlement, his kagune. There were two rinkaku tails wrapped around the ghoul’s lower torso, the other two waving in the air.

 _So that makes a total of eight…_ Kaneki thinks as sweat drops from his face.

“Hey…can you get up?” says a familiar voice underneath him, and Kaneki looks down to see a larger more mature face attached to the teenage body that he had been protecting. The half-ghoul sits back, wincing as his back and legs scream in protest from being still for so long.

 _I’m not going be walking any time soon…_ Kaneki opens his mouth to warn the pre-torture version of himself, but the idiot is already scrambling to his feet and charging the unknown person. Kaneki braces himself for more pain, but none come as the back of a mask he would recognize anywhere settles on his black-haired self and the hissing person turns around to attack the giant centipede bearing down on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys don't have any idea how hard it was to type everything down. Its there in my head, but the moment I sit down to type it, its gone... Well I finally got it typed up, and its here for you to read. So again, read, kudos, and COMMENT!! Even if said comment is pointing out the grammatical errors or typos in this fic, please leave one after reading.  
> 


	7. Mental Scarring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Centipede finally becomes fully formed, and the trio return to the surface.... Shiro is... Shiro.

The stranger slashes the head of the oversized insect off with one swift blow from his six kagune, plumes of black smoky vapor rising from the wound of the still moving centipede body. Weaving between the legs, Kaneki’s old self leaps onto the monster’s oversized back before his own two Rinkaku kagune explodes forth from his back. The red appendages swirl upwards before the teen whirls around and runs forward with a pissed look of determination that showed on his face and in his visible right eye, the white scapula being overtaken by the inky-black color steadily spreading across it from the iris, the wave and his body moving faster with each step taken.

Four of the hooked-beak teenager’s kagune are inside the smoking wound, moving about as if searching for something, or someone as the kagune suddenly move back out of the smoke with a bloodied pale hand. The body the hand belongs to comes out as Rize was pulled forth from the mist, a kagune wrapped around each arm and leg. The stranger’s remaining two kagune rear back, a scorpions tail poised to strike the woman from the front while Kaneki’s black-haired self attacked from the rear, the blood lightly spraying the two while drenching their kagune.

“This…isn’t…over…” Rize croaks with a bloodied loopy smile as she dissipates into a crimson red mist, the blood stains evaporating after her.

The masked version of Kaneki’s past self straightens his back as his kagune vanish along with the strangers as the black-haired teen closes his eyes, the glowing red of his right eye dimming before the eyelid fully covers it. He turns and leaps off the unmoving centipede body, his body not shrinking to that of the boy Kaneki had protected until after he lands in the centipede shadow with his visible eye still closed. Kaneki’s eyes flicker to the masked stranger, who had turned around to face Kaneki with his back directly facing the still-smoking wound he had caused. The vapor increases from the wound at the same time that various amounts of the same vapor sprout from each centipede leg, like a tree releasing all its pollen at once or a snake shedding its skin. Kaneki stares as the vapor from each leg swirls forward towards the front of the centipede, each leg now a dark-crimson brown, like lighter applications of dried black blood against pale trembling fingers… The vapor upwardly spins around the pale boney feet of the stranger, who stands silently with a wide smile visible underneath his hooked-mask. The rising motion of the mist ceases when it reaches the two rinkaku kagune wrapped around his waist, instead traveling in a horizontal spin as his body is lifted into the air. Several thin spikes curve out from the smoke around the stranger’s waist before all of it solidifies into a centipede body that was connected to the now-moving body behind the stranger.

Kaneki’s whole body was numb and he felt _cold_ , as if someone had forced him to watch Hide being slowly murdered while draining his own body of blood at the same time. He silently watches the masked version of himself climb onto the centipede’s scaly back and latches on to the stranger’s neck from behind. The leather mask evaporates as the black haired teen opens his closed eyes, both the color of grey rainclouds that contradicted the smile on his boyish face as he stares at Kaneki. The smile on the boy’s face fades into a frown as he asks Kaneki with a worried gaze.

“Are you getting on?”

Kaneki slowly rises from the floor, his legs not responding any further than that with the sensation of numbing fuzziness accompanying the action.

After a moment passes the black-haired teen-Kaneki lets out a sigh and pats the shoulder of the masked white haired stranger before speaking. “Pick him up, I don’t think he’s fully here yet…”

“Carry Kuro home as well?” the stranger happily hisses as he and the rest of the centipede body move towards Kaneki, and promptly picks up Kaneki bridal style in his human arms.

“Yeah, let’s go home Kenki,–”

“It’s Centipede now, Eyepatch-kun.” The stranger states with his ghoul eyes rolling in mild annoyance, although the cheerful grin on his masked face grew wider as he tosses Kaneki over his head and onto his back, several centipede legs cushioning the landing.

The black haired smiling teen – Kuro – continues to speak after the short interruption, his body shrinking to his child-sized self. “–Back to Shiro and his bad puns.”

With a soft repetitive string of hisses that Kaneki realized was laughter, Centipede beings to rise into the air, the rest of the centipede body following soon after in a more rising circular motion.

Kaneki clings to the small finger sized gap between the chunk of centipede scale Kuro sat on and the ones that sharply went upward to form the section that covered Centipede’s lower body. As they left the light and reentered the darkness far above, Kaneki looks behind him, the moving centipede legs flashing and glowing far below in a spiral, casting pale red light on the nearby dimmer legs and the centipede’s body reminding him of paper lanterns floating down a river to guide the dead back towards their eternal resting place.

 _I…could use some rest_ … Kaneki muses to himself, the warmth from the small body in front and the centipede underneath felt soothing to his aching blood-covered limbs, which were still recovering from protecting Kuro. His heavy eyelids droop lower, mesmerized by the glow of the centipede legs far below, flickering like fireflies on a summer night.

“So warm…” he mummers as his eyelids close, allowing him to enter a more peaceful darkness than the other’s he had previously experienced, the warm sensation seeming to enter his chest and then expand to the rest of his body, reviving the dead energy in every limb it reached.

* * *

 

“We’ll be there soon, Kuro, Kaneki-kun.” Centipede hisses in warning, seeing the white pinprick of light that was the sandbox hole in the distance ahead. Kaneki’s head was already hung forward, only the sound of his soft breathing heard in the silence provided by the Centipede-owned legs.

“Let him rest for a while longer.” Kuro whispers in Centipede’s ear as he lifts one of the sleeping Kaneki’s arms and slings it over his child-sized shoulder before switching his arm with the one gripping one of the exposed kagune at Centipede’s waist and repeats the action with Kaneki’s other arm.

Centipede chitters softly in agreement before making the spirals more gradual in both ascension and speed towards the small hole of light so far above.

* * *

 

Sitting cross legged next to the hole, a teen wearing white, frayed ankle-lengthed pants and a white long-sleeved shirt with a single breast pocket on the right side raises his head from the book he had in his lap, the wind ruffling his short white hair. His red-iris eyes blink once, returning to their normal warm-grey color as his lips move, the bored tone used more appropriate for a textbook then what was occurring.

“You’re not done with him yet, are you, Rize, Jason?”

The wind increases, buffeting the reader and his book for a few moments before ceasing, the mixture of red and white lily flowers still for once in the surrounding flower field… The teen lightly frowns for a bit before returning to his book, awaiting the return of the other figments to aid their true self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a character description profile thing created for Shiro, Kuro, and Centipede, I might post it up as the next chapter if you guys want, just leave a kudo and comment if you do, or leave a comment if you just want to gush over this fic. Also, my beta reader in a sense told me I should use the horizontal lines to show character POV change, in all honesty I think I was doing a good job without em, but for now I'll use them. Tell me what you think.  
> I would appricate it if you would tell me what your favorite lines from this chapter or any of them are in the next chapter comment section. One of the ones that just came to me while typing this chapter that screamed Kaneki was the following line:  
> "Kaneki’s whole body was numb and he felt cold, as if someone had forced him to watch Hide being slowly murdered while draining his own body of blood at the same time." (Kaneki, stop with the self-guilt and harm in your head, its unhealthy and breaking my own and my reader's hearts.)  
> However my favorite line from this chapter I guess would be the following:  
> "The red appendages swirl upwards before the teen whirls around and runs forward with a pissed look of determination that showed on his face" (Sweet human Kaneki unhardened by his life in TK: RE or TK with a pissed off look on his face... run for the hills lol, just run.)  
> One scene Centipede more or less took over in my head was when he happily hisses as he and the rest of the centipede body move towards Kaneki, and promptly picks up Kaneki bridal style in his human arms. (Your subtle attempt at self shipping with Kaneki is not subtle, Centipede, not subtle at all. XD.)


	8. The Discussed Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuro, Shiro and Centipede all chat about one another and one amnesiac Kaneki.... (When I first planed to write this Kankei was supposed to wake up with memories of chapters 2-5 intact.... Sasaki stop sneaking in there, lol.)

Shiro did not have to wait long, as from the sand bursts a wiggling oversized bug that he is tempted to wack over the head again, repeatedly with another fine piece of literature other than the one he had been reading before it began raining sand.

 _Idiots… both of you… Complete. Utter. Idiots._ Shiro’s voice echoes in the minds of the other two figments, Kaneki sleeping peacefully unaware on Centipede’s back while clinging to Kuro from behind.

Shiro releases a despairing sigh before shaking the book by its spine, sand particles still sticking to the faint indent of kanji and English lettering that made the book’s title, “仮面 餓鬼 (Kamen Gaki): “Mask brat/kid/Ghoul”” Centipede’s name-sake body ceased its moving of the many glowing and fading kagune-crimson legs before dissipating, the black-crimson mist particles settling on the masked ghoul’s clothes, turning the full-body suit from the grey to a black the shade of a night sky. Shiro gives him a questioning look that Centipede dismissively waves off as patches of the familiar grey begin to peek through the cloth once more as the mask flickers once before fading away like a ghost, leaving a near copy of Shiro’s face with his eyes closed.

 _Bit more warning…okay?_ Kuro’s voice asks with a actual grunt as the growing kid shifts the heavy body of the sleeper to settle more evenly on his back.

 _Sorry._ Centipede half-whispers with lips unmoving as he turns around and walks towards Kuro, his right hand trails through Kaneki’s dirty-white hair, a sad frown cracked across the figments unmasked face. The other figments stare at him and Kaneki with gazes of matching sorrow, knowing what he meant by this one simple word… a deep regret, intense guilt, and traceable pain that not even a thousand apologies would be able to salvage Centipede as his redemption.

In the next moment the sleeping half-ghoul stirs, his normal grey eyes blinking slowly as sand particles fall from his hair and back. “Where…” he mumbles half-asleep, still not quite there as his mind attempts to recognize what he sees. “Who… are you…?” Kaneki slurs before he more or less falls off of Kuro’s back onto his own into the all too familiar sand. Shiro sighs dejectedly as Centipede and Kuro grab each of Kaneki’s hands and pull him up on his unsteady feet only for him to plop back down in a sitting position, eyes still unfocused.

 _Like hell I’m hitting myself with a book you two._ He deadpans at Kuro and Centipede when the pair look at him expectedly from where they stood.

“Well then, in that case to help _both of you focus_ I guess I’ll introduce myself first.” Kuro says while replying to Shiro and talking to Kaneki as he crouches down, Kaneki’s eyes slowly moving over to him when he spoke.

* * *

 

The older version of the black haired boy that Kaneki remembers meeting in this exact spot points to himself before speaking in a warm voice, one Kaneki once again recognizes as his own.

“I’m Kuro, but these two –” he gestures to the white-haired one Kaneki remembers from the recent past standing behind him with an impassive gaze, and to the one on Kaneki’s right, a near copy of the other white haired one other than his closed eyes and clothing, which consisted of a dark grey full-body suit of sorts… “– call me Eyepatch sometimes, because of my mask.”

A familiar mask materializes in a blur on Kuro’s face, the plastic gummy grin a familiar sight to Kaneki while seeing it on another’s face was not quite so familiar… but strangely familiar all the same.

“I’m still dreaming… aren’t I?” Kaneki mumbles to himself as he pushes himself up off the sand.

The white haired copy of Kaneki silently opens his book and turns a page with his left hand before saying in a bored voice. “My name is Shiro.” Then almost as an afterthought, the book reader then utters “And no, you’re not really dreaming.”

“Bookworm means you’re living a dream, Kaneki.” States the other white-haired stranger that Kaneki vaguely remembers from a recent nightmare, red centipede legs floating away from him into an inky blackness that engulfs his own body…

Blinking once to remove the image from his mind, Kaneki asks the remaining person in a cautious voice, “Who are you…?”

The white haired person, no… the white haired _ghoul_ , Kaneki realizes as the nameless teenager raises a pair of emotionless, red-pupil-on-black-scapula eyes to Kaneki’s own. He begins speaking in a voice that is cold and devoid of energy, the same voice that Rize had used beforehand when taunting him about Kaneki’s desire to protect his friends.

“I’m sorry… for not stopping her taking over your body when you needed me most…”

An image of Hide lying in a pool of blood flashes through his head, and Kaneki slowly shakes his own in denial to the unnamed person’s claim.

“Centipede, you did nothing worthy of apologizing to the over polished (ken) golden metal (kane) stick-in-the-ground tree (ki) that he is.” Shiro grumbled with a soft smile while gesturing at Kaneki.

Almost as if his name alone was the trigger, whimpering, Centipede gets down on his hands and knees, facing Kuro and Kaneki before crying, his human body lurches trembling forward with each echoing sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so sorry… sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry ssssoorrrrrrryyy, so… ssssorryyyyyyy… sorry, sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry….”

“What is he apologizing for?” Kaneki asks the other two, a hint of panic creeping in his already fearful voice as he had never met the apologizing person before in his mind or in real life, so What, _what_ exact cruel thing had he done to the poor soul who was apologizing on his hands and knees in dogeza style to deserve this?

“Do you remember a nightmare involving someone who looks… similar to me?” Shiro asks Kaneki from the edge of the sandbox while Kuro kneels in front of the sobbing Centipede and holds him, his body shrinking as Centipede repeated chokes of “I’m sorry” slowly ebb as his trembling arms lift from the sandy ground and wrap around the silent, tearful Kuro.

“He is apologizing for forcing you to relive one of the most traumatic moments of your childhood life, as Rize was able to trigger that particular memory due to the trauma you had experienced on the outside with Jason and then Rize attempting to drag you back to reality, which if allowed, would have truly, _left you broken_.” Shiro explains further in a dry voice, as if telling the plot to a play or movie that he did not particularly care for.

“Memory distortion, going against Rize for control of your fragmenting mind, and fighting her for outside control of our Kagune too.” Centipede hisses with a sniffle, his ghoul eyes glittering with yet more tears as Kuro buries his head into the crock of the ghoul’s neck.

“Yes, we are all thankful for your efforts to save Kaneki and for popping out of his mom like that, just replace existing trauma with some more, worse trauma.” Shiro huffs as he tosses the book up into the air with both hands, where it faded out of existence and another, slightly larger and more battered book falls in its place.

“Wait, you mean to tell me that memory… that nightmare, was real?” Kaneki asks, shuddering as the logical part of his brain stated _yes, it was_ , while his heart screamed _No! Mommy loved me!_

“Not all of i-it… Just m-mo-mommy hurting us…” Kuro whimpered as his child-sized body trembles against Centipede’s own.

Shiro bows his head with a harsh low mutter of “I’m glad I helped you realize that.” as his left hand touches his chin while Kuro burrows further into the crock of Centipede’s neck, the trembles of his child-sized body intensifying with the movement.

The wind blows and silence reigns over the small group in the sandbox, until Centipede slowly stands up and walks over to Kaneki and speaks. “I’m what the subconscious part of you thinks is a ghoul, something that you used to fear as the monster that exists in others who have hurt you throughout your life… including your mother, and also something that can care for others, as you yourself have seen while at Anteiku.”

Kuro removes his head and speaks with a small sad stutter still present in his voice. “I-I’m the human p-part of you, from your c-ch-childhood up until present day...”

“If you’re my ‘human’ side, then why do you have a ghoul’s eye?” Kaneki questions the boy, whose left eye becomes a familiar color of red and black at the question.

“Remember that not all ghouls are bloodthirsty monsters in the same way that not all humans are the same.” Was Kuro’s reply as his body grows, the mask fading away and both of his human and ghoul eyes flickering over to Shiro.

Shiro sits and opens the battered book on his knees before speaking in a positive manner. “I represent the good side of ghouls, your desire to protect what you have and harm anything or anyone who dares to hurt your friends or family, ghoul or human. On a relative note...”

“…While you focus on healing over time from the tragedy that is your life, we will help you with your new goals.” Shiro intones while making a circular motion from Kaneki to the others then himself.

“New goals?” Kaneki echoes, a look of puzzlement crossing his face.

“You swore to protect your friends and more importantly, yourself. Which is a good thing you realize, as you can’t protect them or anything once you’re _dead_.” Shiro spits at the end, Centipede sagely nods his head with encouraging hisses, and Kuro just looks at Kaneki with a happy grin that failed to match the guilty glare of anger mixed with sorrow smoldering in his storm-grey eyes.

Kaneki gazes up at the checkerboard sky and declares in a determined voice “Then… how can I help you guys?”

The loud groans of anguish from the three startle Kaneki as Shiro falls backwards onto a patch of red lily flowers while the other two shake their heads in mock disappointment.

“First of all,” Shiro grumbles as he sits up, crushed stems of brown grass visible among the flattened flowers, “Stop being a dork.”

“Hear Hear!” a new cheerful voice calls from behind Centipede, and the Kaneki quad look over to see something that puts matching expressions of surprise on their faces.

Standing a fairly good distance away, about a dozen yards or so, were three familiar figures in what appeared to be a area of flower-less grass that Kaneki was certain of not existing during his fall towards the sandbox. On the left was Hide, a grin on his face as he waves with one arm flying through the air, Touka to his right in her school uniform, her hands restraining Hide’s other arm to his side as she huffs something that makes Hide’s grin all the wider; eliciting a small smile in response. Hinami appeared to be standing a few yards or a few feet in front of the pair, holding a red leather ball in her hands and a warm smile on her face.

“Should we go?” Kuro asks as he gets on Centipede’s back from behind, Shiro standing up and dusting off himself and drops the battered book, which fades away at his knees.

“Yeah.” Kaneki breathes “Lets go to the other side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to do some Kanji research or verification head on over to Tanoshiijapanese.com, a very accurate (read, better than google translate) kanji and romaji plus english to japanese dictionary + translation website that I have been using for some time now, and its where I got the kanji and romaji used in this chapter from.  
> Apparently the word for 'brat' "Gaki" can also mean 'Ghoul' and the two Kanji used for Gaki more or less sum up what a Ghoul is in the context of Tokyo Ghoul, which was interesting to find out. First Kanji 餓 means 'starve; hungry; thirst', while the second kanji 鬼 means 'ghost; devil' which is what Ghouls are perceived as by normal civilians, from what I know from the very first chapter of TK....  
> The kanji for 'Mask' 仮面 aka "Kemon" more or less mean "1. mask 2. disguise" which is what the ghouls do with said masks. The individual meaning behind the first kanji 仮 in kemon is "sham; temporary; interim; assumed (name); informal" and we have alot of those in TK, with all the code animal/item/insect names being thrown about in a informal manner... Not to mention all the so called 'masks' that Kaneki wears throughout the series, from Eyepatch to Maman as Sasaki in TK Re:, I'm fairly certain that Ishida is throwing symbolism into the kanji as well as the illustrations of the manga. (I've only read the English translations of the manga, so i have no clue what kanji is being used inside of the series).  
> As far as the second kanji for Kemon goes, 面 more or less means 'mask; face; features; surface'. I had already created the connection between Kaneki's multiple personas to masks beforehand (read: chapter 2 title), but this solidifies it.  
> 


	9. A Light Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scenery changes for the better, and Kaneki takes another nap that he very much deserves.

Kaneki walks forward towards the smiling trio in disbelief, staring with wide eyes as Touka walks forward, takes the ball from Hinami, and glances directly at him with a smirk. She throws and bounces the ball off his head as he steps over the boundary between flowers mixed with grass, to just vibrant dark green grass that appeared dull to his eyes.

Kaneki looks behind him to watch as Shiro calmly steps over the line, while Centipede energetically leaps over it with a smiling now smaller past-Kaneki being carried and laughing from his shoulders.

“You shouldn’t have done that, you’ll only hurt his dorky head even more, Touka-san.” The bookworm deadpans with an ice-warm smile.

“Now that I remember and truly think about it, my childhood was not that normal…” Kaneki grumbles as he rubs said head with a glare at Shiro.

A memory flashes through his mind of a black-haired investigator, a revelation, and the desire to understand coursing through his veins.

“If it was anything to go by, it was closer to the human-equivalent of a ghoul’s childhood lifestyle, if Hinami’s life and what we know of Touka’s is anything to judge by.” The child-Kaneki chirps.

“Once we return to the real world, why don’t we actually go to a playground?” Shiro says with a small grin.

Hide’s exuberant reply of “That Sounds like FUN!” plasters easy-goings smiles on everyone’s faces, and Kaneki feels warm, warmth coming from the inside instead of out, like the way his body felt after eating mom’s cooking so long ago in a different time and place…

Kuro leaps off of Centipede’s back towards Kaneki and pull’s Kaneki’s body down into the grass with him, his shoulders shaking from the giggles escaping his human smile. A playful shout of “Over here!” from Hinami makes the black-haired boy look up in brief surprise as the ball lands and rolls against his leg. “No brooding, okay?” Kuro grins at Kaneki, who sits up and just stares back with his hand lifted half-way up his chest before returning to rest on the grass as he mildly protests the statement.

“I wasn’t going to, yet.” He mutters as Kuro picks up the ball and runs towards Hide and Hinami, the swing and sandbox still visible behind the waving, smiling duo. The flowers along the border were turning in on themselves, blooming in reverse to become the same brown brittle grass that was mostly hidden underneath the flowers. Then the checkered sky begins to change, blacks and crimson reds fading to whites and light blues before falling apart into a normal cloudy sky. The brown grass changes colors, swiftly becoming the same vibrant green as the grass Kaneki is laying on.

He smiles at the sight and lies back down, a wave of exhaustion sweeping over him. _I’ll rest for now…_ he thinks, as he closes his eyes to the sounds of Kuro and Hinami playing with the ball nearby, Hide, Touka or in the case of Centipede, softly hissing laughter at a joke that his white-clothed counterpart had just told.

_All was well…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can correctly guess Why I choose these three to appear out of the many characters that Kaneki has interacted with so far, I'll plant a omake blurb in the notes of the next chapter as a hint as to how far I'm planning to take this fic.


	10. Dreaming of Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recap chapter from chapter 3 onward consisting of what Rize and Yamori were doing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to go ahead and say sorry for not updating this in about a month or so, Life has been hard and more college work and other distractions (other fan-fictions and doing some more stuff with the Phantom of Inferno Visual Novel I have) have been given to me aplenty. But mainly I did not write this chapter due to my TK muse fizzling out (its still out and I don't think the chapter has the same 'voice' as the others do but I'm going to post it anyway), and just NOT WANTING TO WRITE THIS HAPPENING TO KANEKI.

_All was well..._

* * *

 

 _Both in and out, in and out..._ Yamori thinks to himself as he carefully begins to separate one of Rize’s fingers from her hand with his teeth, eliciting a soft moan from the chained and tied prisoner before him. _In, bite, out, swallow. Repeat._

With a soft peel of laughter, two of the tied ghoul’s kagune rise behind her and wrap around her right arm before stopping in the palm of what remained of her hand, tips glowing faintly in the light. The other two swiftly go under both of her armpits and latch on to Jason’s own kagune covered arm, as Rize then slowly lifts her kagune-wrapped arm to Jason’s cheek, the Kakuja covered ghoul straining against the two kagune restraining his arm. “Jason.” She purrs again, her ghoul eyes flashing briefly as the tips burrow into the exposed flesh.

Her smile widens as she watches Jason spit flecks of blood in his angered growl of “Bitch, I’ll eat you… alive!” a few droplets landing near her mouth. Her tongue flicks out and moves across the top of her lips, Jason now gripping her forehead with his human hand, the other still not free from her kagune.

“Is it better to eat, or to be eaten, hm, Jay~son?” she asks with a smirk, both of the kagune which covered her arm now slithering off and onto Jason’s body, which twitches and jerks harder against the kagune-covered arm in response.

“Mmmm….” Rize pleasantly hums as she feels Kaneki’s body react to Jason’s reaction, something pulsing down between her legs that makes her want to go and hunt, watch the looks of terror appear as she rips out their intestines… The female ghoul chuckles softly at the memory as her hands cusp his chin, while the hand on her head travels down to the bridge of her nose.

“Kaneki is mine, not yours, Jason.” She croons while stroking the wound with the two fingers she has left on her hand, the S-ranked ghoul snarl turning into a pained moan in response. As her lips move up to suckle on the rich warm blood that flowed from Jason’s own, there is a sudden sense of nothingness where her kagune had been. The loud sudden hissing of centipedes could be heard as if they were cicadas causing Rize to sadly smile against Jason’s eager mouth, knowing that her time for the moment was up until she could once more take over Kaneki’s mind and body. In a final act, she pushes her kagune into Kaneki's lower body from behind, and then from there into Jason's.

"This... Isn't..." she says, her final word a whisper of smoke as she fades away, the brief ghostly image of a hooked mask covering Kaneki's face appears as the word is spoken. "over..." The mask fades away alongside Rize, the whispers of centipede hisses echoing in Jason’s ears ceasing as the image vanishes. Thus Jason found himself with lips locked with a dull-eyed Kaneki, who slowly blinks as Jason removes his lips from Kaneki’s, the part of the cheek wound inside his mouth now healed.

* * *

Jason growls angrily, his cheek where her kagune had pierced still aching in pain despite being healed on the outside. With a derisive snort, the ghoul releases the boy from his grip; whose head falls forward in a silent bow not before a glint of red appears in both of Kaneki's eyes. Jason blinked, not believing that the brat in front of him had somehow acquired a new set of eyes while he was held captive. The face Jason lifts to look into his prisoner's eyes is a dead emotionless one, only the right eye begins to revert to its original ghoul state. Humming, Jason removes himself from the boy after a few more shoves to rebind the prisoner to his chair with the same blood-rust-covered chains from before. The tormentor looks down at the lone red kagune limb that was now extended and wiggling from Kaneki's lower abdomen, blood glistening. Slowly it moves down towards the place that Jason had just left, and Jason raises his head and the RC-suppressant filled syringe, focusing on Kaneki's ghoul eye. He applies it directly to the eye in question; tears all too quickly beginning to flow from the pair of grey eyes with the action.

* * *

Satisfied that Kaneki will remain where he belongs, Jason leaves the prisoner and Nico to the sound of the boy's mumblings of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, mommy it won't happen again, I'm sorry...". Kaneki's pained words evoked memories of his own ghoulish mom echoing in the back of his mind, memories that Jason had long forgotten as he leaves the pair. Nico watches on as Kaneki's kagune enters the place between the boy's legs, and the boy goes silent with his head dropping forward, unmoving to the coldness of the world.


	11. ShiRo KanTipede

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter right here is part of the reason why I have the Kankei/Kankei tag on this fic. It was supposed to be a bit more similar to the Kaneki riding Centipede scene that occurred earlier in the fic, but all of them were going "Nope, its nap-nap time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author chuckles in amusement at character's stubbornness, before frowning.  
> Author: So, I'm doing a different version of the Author notes today, courtesy of and a callback to the fabulous authors of the wonderful One Piece fic on A03, THIS BITES!  
> Shiro: This will be short, as we all know how much you have waited for this new chapter. *sits down and adds new chapter to the book in his hand*  
> Centipede: Its nap time...  
> Older-Kuro: Author-san has had a really tough time in rl, and as stated before, her Tokyo Ghoul muse has been fairly hijacked by the Phantom of Inferno, aka Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom fandom.  
> Kaneki: *Yawns* Its best if you read on, oh, and Toyu needs a beta reader who is good with differentiating with the past/present/etc. tenses for the next chapter of Shadows of Phantom Shinobi.  
> Author: If anyone wants to volunteer, just leave a comment on the most recent chapter of Phantom Shinobi or this fanfiction. To be honest, I want NotShortImFunSized for this job, but that is for him/her to decide.

Kaneki’s eyes felt heavy, dried crust weighing down the lids and irritating to his skin. The world he opens them to is not the one he left Hide, Touka, Shiro and the others in, but for some reason he is not alarmed by what he does see. Black straight branches arch over him in the hole far above, allowing broken shafts of light to filter down upon the odd material that the circular room is made up of.

* * *

 

He tries to sit up, but something tightens around his waist and he feels the breath of something tickling his right ear, so Kaneki freezes the rest of his body while turning his head just enough to see the breather. The half ghoul sighs in mild discomfort and relief as he recognizes the peaceful face of either Shiro or Centipede, most likely the former due to the open book resting on the sleeper’s head. Kaneki’s amused smile turns to a frown as he is blasted by the smell of bad breath as the sleeper breaths on. Kaneki wrinkles his nose at this when Shiro sighs in his sleep, his arms around Kaneki’s waist barely loosening for him to move a centimeter away. A soft snore from behind him makes the half-ghoul aware of having his back pressed against something that moves against his back and away, the snores in sync with the brushes against his back. The shafts of light that come down when the oddly shaped branches above move with a familiar rustling do little in revealing the source of the snores as so much as to give hints to their origin. Kaneki blinks in recognition at the centipede legs hanging from the sides of the walls that flash a familiar bright neon-red before going back to dark crimson with the shifting shadows return.

“Ah…” he mummers half in sleep and half shocked at the forgotten memory that pops into his head; the images and the meanings behind them clear as crystal or a clean pane of glass.

_An open book lying on the floor of his father’s study; an encyclopedia turned to a picture of a centipede, the bolded title near the top of the leafed page: **Chinese Red-Headed Centipede.**_

_‘The Chinese red-headed centipede, also known as the Chinese red head, (Scolopendra subspinipes mutilans) is a centipede from East Asia and Australasia. It averages 20 cm (8 inches) in length and lives in damp environments._

_In ancient Chinese traditions, this centipede is used for its healing properties. It is said that putting a Chinese red head on a rash or other skin-disease will speed up the healing process._

_Scolopendra subspinipes mutilans is known for harboring little aggression to other centipedes, a trait very rare amongst giant centipedes and allows it to be kept communally._

_Females are incubatoral mothers, guarding the eggs by wrapping their body around the clutch until it hatches.’_

It was the last two lines of the passage that Kaneki was drawn to during his first read; wrapped up in a blanket to pretend that it was his mother who did not beat him (he knew better now).

* * *

One of the traveling shafts of light flashes off of Centipede’s beak when it emerges from behind Kaneki over his right shoulder as the ‘walls’ no, as the _centipede’s body_ coils a bit closer. “ _Sleep…_ ” Centipede softly hisses in his own sleep; Shiro’s voice was somehow still sarcastic in his sleep-answer to Centipede with a grumbled snore of “Yes Mom.” A soft giggle comes from the sleeping bundle resting against Kaneki’s left side, the part of it that was on Kaneki’s chest rising to reveal a sleeping face that held more innocence than Hinami or Hide in its slumber. Kuro’s smile becomes a bit wider as he giggles again in his sleep before nestling his head once more against Kaneki’s body. A warm feeling blossoms inside of Kaneki as he manages to move his left arm over Centipede’s leg and press the sleeper’s head more into his chest in a one-armed hug. The warmth is suddenly accompanied by another wave of exhaustion and relaxation, Kaneki’s eyes very ready to become half-lidded in reply to the sensations.

 _A little more sleep… shouldn’t hurt…anyone…_ Kaneki thinks to himself as he dozes off, only to awaken in what feels like a few moments later to a scene of pained curses and inflamed agony.


	12. The Pain We Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki Kaneki Kaneki...

The walls shift and descend in an agitated motion around the former-sleepers, Centipede’s pained howling in addition to Kuro’s screaming giving an ethereal quality to the situation. Shiro’s crouching in the center of the clearing, a small Kuro clinging to him as the book worm stares at Kaneki with wide, fearful eyes that blink, revealing the pure fury inside now-red irises. Kaneki slowly blinks in confusion at the obvious chaos going on around him with no visible cause for the panic going on inside his head. “What’s going on…?” he asks Shiro, who scowls while standing up and slowly rubbing Kuro’s small, hunched back, the boy’s howls descending into loud sobs with the comforting motion.

The bookworm’s reply is spat out with the same intense fury that’s burning in his eyes as he walks over to Kaneki while Centipede chitters anxiously nearby in a curled coil.

“Rize.”

Kaneki swallows as he braces himself for _something_ , but the sudden mind-numbing pain sprouting between his legs at the name is not what he was expecting. Gasping and blinking his misting eyes rapidly, the half-ghoul peers upward where the bookworm and Kuro were, wondering what had occurred for the pair to suddenly be above him. Shiro crouches down in front of him, and the small Hide part of Kaneki’s mind sheepishly notes that he was kneeling on the ground himself with no recollection of his legs collapsing underneath him. Kaneki barely notes this through the intense throbbing, burning pain that was assaulting him, then suddenly it was gone in a single moment. Kuro gasps while Shiro flinches, his ghoul eyes narrowing as he grits his teeth while Centipede lets out a whimpered snarl of “FiiiiighT!”

Shiro turns his head to Centipede and nods before Kuro lessens his arms from around his neck before collapsing on his own small legs, his intense sobs renewed afresh. Kaneki deeply inhales before snapping a single word that was so full of anger and previously unfounded _Authority_ it scared and shocked him in equal measures.

“ _Wait!_ ”

The shaken former human closes his eyes then slowly breaths to calm his racing heart before opening them and speaking in a calmer, even voice.

“We fight her together, or not at all. She… is my problem, just as much as she is yours. I’m ready to be the one protecting you, just as you all have protected me…”

Surprisingly, its Centipede who answers in the moment of dead silence that follows this declaration as the three not-Kanekis look at him with newfound respect.

“We are glad that you have found the courage to say such a thing and truly mean it…” – Shiro nods his head, which follows a shaky but determined nod from Kuro, an approving hiss from Centipede who dips his head in agreement with Shiro’s sentiment, “– but now is not the time for you to protect us.”

Kaneki dully feels his head go up and down in unvoiced agreement as the sandbox, flower field, sky, and other versions of himself warp and distort in a vertical spin, his eyes closing of their own accord. A voice, or multitudes of them, softly mummers in his ear as suddenly cold air nips the exposed parts of his body, his eyes opening to see the checkered floor of the real-life prison Kaneki was being held in.

_“It’s time, to wake up.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took soo long for a new chapter (nearly a whole year 0_0), but University life is tough, other plot bunnies get in the way, and just, yeah, my muse for this fanfic is more or less gone at the moment, so as of this chapter, this fic is done for now. Please leave a comment on what you thought of the story so far, as more comments = more focus on this fanfiction. For those of you who want to read more Tokyo Ghoul by me, I point you towards His Second Chance of Home (Berserk and TK crossover) and my new TK muse fic, Magic Hiden Within (Puella Magic Madoka Magica and TK crossover).


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